42 Days Into Getting “Back On Track”: Losing 24 Pounds While Gaining A New Perspective On Life

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MEET THE KROCKS: We are a married couple who started on a life-changing whole food, plant-based weight loss journey in June 2018. To date, we have lost over 300 pounds combined and we aren’t done yet! Read Our Story

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For today’s video, the original plan was to give you some tips I’ve used to get myself back on track. However, when I sat down to write this blog post prior to filming this morning, it took a different turn. After I was done, I read it to Brian and we both decided that having me read the entire post as a standalone video would be more powerful. I promise I will get back to the tips in a later video.

So we got home from filming this and I took a nap. When I woke up, Brian had created one of the most beautiful videos. The original idea was to just show me reading the blog post in two camera angles, but he took all of this extra “B-Roll” footage while we walked around and it honestly kind of took my breathe away to see his final edit.

The “I see you” moment made me cry, just seeing how beautifully he captured what I was feeling with the timing and movement of the footage. Speechless.

Hope you enjoy. This one comes straight from the heart. ❤️

As you may remember, I made a video 42 days ago on March 15, 2020 “confessing” that I had gotten completely off track with my diet. I’m not even sure if I properly expressed (or… admitted?) in that video just how far off track I was at the time. I had gotten to a point where I was sneaking food and hiding it from Brian. I even hid it from my co-workers, for fear that they would judge me since I’ve tried to set such a good “example” since we started this new lifestyle.

In the final week or so before making my “confession,” I was going to Jimmy John’s at least once a day to get my “fix,” which was in the form of a “Slim 5” – only there was nothing “slim” about it. It is a very simple sandwich with just cold cut Italian meats and provolone cheese. I don’t know why I became obsessed with it, but it’s something I really enjoyed before going whole food plant based (WFPB).

I was honestly making it through each day saying in my head “okay, this sucks and I am in a really bad place… but at least I can go to Jimmy John’s later and have my moment with that sandwich.”

That, combined with my ability to devour an ENTIRE box of Wheat Thins in a very short period of time, and my almost daily trips to Whole Foods to replenish my Justin’s dark chocolate peanut butter cup supply, had me in a very dark place mentally. I was so disappointed in myself, but I kept telling myself that I would just give it until the end of this week and then start fresh again on Monday. Only on Mondays, I felt depressed and overwhelmed and gave in for yet another week.

That all changed on March 15, 2020 when I recorded that “confession” video. It was a raw, spur-of-the-moment video I recorded by myself while Brian was away. When he got home, we spent hours (literally… HOURS) talking about it and trying to decided whether or not to release the video on our YouTube channel. We went back and forth so many times.

Putting yourself out there for the world to see (and judge) is not easy for most people, but I am actually quite introverted and it was absolutely terrifying for me. I probably shouldn’t have started a YouTube channel. LOL.

Ultimately, we decided to release the video just as I had recorded it. I knew that it was something I needed to do. I knew that I could potentially help a lot of other people who were going through the same thing.

YouTube and social media are weird. There are a lot of people out there just trying to make their lives look perfect. And a lot of other people on the receiving end comparing their lives to all of these “perfect” lives they see and getting depressed about it. But the truth is… we are ALL struggling. I don’t care how “perfect” your life appears… we ALL go through stuff. I think it’s important to show that side and be vulnerable.

I’ve had SO many people reach out with words if encouragement since that video went up, and I truly appreciate all of it. I’ve also had a lot of people checking in on me wondering how I’ve been doing over the last several weeks, so I thought I would make a video updating everyone.

The good news is, today I can share that I have been “on track” since that last video went up. I have actually lost about 24 pounds since my weigh in that day (down to 162 from 186). Granted, the first 10 or so pounds I lost were probably mostly water weight and from the sheer amount of food I stuffed myself with during my last binge eating “hurrah.” But those last 14 pounds, I feel like I have earned.

The original “confession” video was made the Sunday before we started working from home amid this global pandemic we are facing. We had NO clue what was in store or that 6 weeks later we would still be at home isolating ourselves. For me, being in isolation mode has actually helped me stay on track. I don’t go out into the world, therefore a lot of my temptations have been completely eliminated.

In order to understand why getting off track was such a big deal for me, we need to go back in time a bit. As you might remember, I started at 285 pounds back in June 2018. After switching to a WFPB diet, by the end of 2019, I was at my lowest point (probably since middle school), around 158 pounds. Then I struggled for the first few months of this year and got myself back up to 186 on March 15th.

I’ve been overweight as long as I can remember, going back to when I was a child. Around 2009-2011, when Brian & I had just started our relationship, we decided to lose weight. I lost over 100 pounds before we got married in 2011. I remember back then, my dad was really cynical about my weight loss. He actually told me that I was “just going to put all of the weight back on,” so what was the point.

That stuck with me. Ten years later, I can still hear him saying that. I know he didn’t really mean it. My dad and I are very similar in a LOT of ways, and I definitely understand saying something so cruel as kind of a defensive mechanism. I’ve done it countless times myself. I see you dad. I know you don’t mean the things you say.

I’ve forgiven him for it, but it still sticks with me. And the worst part was, I DID put it all back on. After Brian and I got married, I slowly re-gained those 100 pounds. And more. So, in my mind, I basically proved my dad right.

I think that’s why the setback earlier this year was so scary to me. It was my first real setback since switching to a WFPB diet. And I spent SO many years feeling like a failure after re-gaining all the weight before. I didn’t want to slip back into that place. When I put all of that weight back on before, it honestly wrecked me. It killed my self-esteem, heightened my anxiety and as a result, made me bitter towards the world.

Looking back, I am actually really glad I got off track. I know that sounds weird to say, but it has allowed me to prove to myself that I can do this. I can fall down in the most epic way and still pick up the pieces and carry on. I’ve got this. I’m going to prove my dad wrong this time.

I do want to share my “tips” with all of you and a little bit more about HOW I actually got myself back on track, but I really needed to get this out first. I will be making another video on that topic soon.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past 6 weeks. It just so happens that all of this coincided with the most crazy time I’ve experienced in my 34 years on earth. I’ve had so much time to reflect during this time at home. I’ve made new friendships that I know will last a lifetime. While the world is at a standstill, I feel like I am evolving into a completely new person. And I like that person. I really do.

Watch the video of me reading this post here >>

Check out our complete “Getting Back On Track” Playlist here >>